are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
