you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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