I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
