did you get engaged???
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
