the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
