Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
