all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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