She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
