Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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