how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
