Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
