Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Your cock deserves a montage
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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