Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Im part way to drunk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
