i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
