Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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