i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
