i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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