I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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