I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
