when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
