Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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