I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
