the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
