i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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