so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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