some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
