Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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