I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
