Kiss
Puke
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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