its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
