Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
