well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I touched a dick in church today
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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