broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
