It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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