giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
