There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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