there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
