you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
