I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
