Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
