I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
