We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
