i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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