Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
