Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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