You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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