There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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