The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize