his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
