If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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