Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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