It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
