I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize