Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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