remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
